Ok, really.....do you want my pants? I mean, I know you might want IN my pants (JK). If you genuinely want me to ship my pants to you, I will. But really you should just be nice and help me because it won't take that long.
It's about my new hobby. Two words.....ROLLER DERBY. I'm in love with it. I pretty much loathe every minute I'm NOT wearing my beautiful, wonderful AMAZING gorgeous speed skates. It's like gliding my feet around atop a glorious ocean of butter. With rainbows shooting out of my butt. And a chardonnay waterfall........Sorry. Mental fantasy terminated.
ANYWAY, I need help picking a derby name. I originally thought my teammates would give me a name but it turns out I have to pick one. Lotta pressure. Which means YOU ALL have to pick one. I don't feel right naming myself.
Husband and I have spent many painstaking hours narrowing it down to the top five. Before you get all exasperated and say how easy it is, keep in mind that there is a derby name database of literally thousands of names that are already taken and you cannot take one that is already used. And you cannot take one until you draft onto the team. I am working painstakingly to draft ASAP. In the meantime, PLEASE take a second and read the list of finalists and vote by leaving the name of choice as a comment. I NEED feedback, people. I value your opinions. And PLEASE....do not mention my name choices to your sister/cousin/friend/neighbor/barista who is also doing derby because if it gets stolen, I will be super pissed, you guys. Here are the finalists:
There they are. Please help. Vote! Leave your vote in the comments. I need a derby name so that my alter derby ego can begin to take over.......
And just for voting, here is your reward. A picture of a cat wearing pants.