Exit Row Conversations

*On the flight home from Seattle, Cody and I sat in the exit row, so we had to "verbally agree" to all the super duper mega important responsibilities that come along with exit row seats. I picked the exit row  because they have extra leg room and also only two seats instead of three, so we didn't have to sit by anyone.  Cause who wants to sit by anyone on the plane?  Not us.
 
Me:  "Do you really think we're the best people to sit here?  I mean, now we're responsible for everyone if we crash or something.  I don't even like being responsible for myself."

Cody:  "What are you talking about?    If something happens to this plane, I'm the first person out that door. Eff that noise!"

Me:  "Yeah!  You're right!  Good thinking!  It's GENIUS!!  We can bail before any of these other yo-yos."

Cody:  "That's what I'm talking about.  We'll both be gonzo before the shit even finishes hitting the fan."

Me:  "I don't even think you'd OPEN the door.  There'd just be a big hole in the side of the plane that was shaped like you running.  You'd be gone so fast...... You'd be in the nearest bar watching the crash happen on the news.  You could point at the tv and say 'I was ON that plane. It was horrible.' "

Cody:  "These are the best seats in the house, I say."

Me:  "Yeah!.....  I hope no one around us has been listening to this conversation or they'll probably vote us out of the seats."

Cody:  "I bet no one wants to sit here.  Too much potential work."

Me:  "They should have a quiz for the people who want to sit here.  Or a personality test."

Cody:  "Or  a sobriety test."

Me:  "Right?  I've been drinking since 3pm.  I can barely zip up my fly."

Cody:  "Yeah, they could have a little breathalyzer tube you have to blow into before you can sit in these seats."

Me:  "Now that we've discussed it, I definitely think we're the wrong people to be sitting in the exit row. We should be ashamed of ourselves.  We should straighten up and fly right. Heh....get it?  Fly right?"

Cody:  "Heh....yeah."

Me:  "Speaking of flying right.....Hand me the drink menu."