I love Cody.....and Steve Jobs

Cody gave me his iPad.  Well, it's more like a long-term loan.  Like, he still owns it, but I can use it if I be good.  Immediately after getting it, he decided it was pointless and never used it.  It sat in the box for a few weeks before he even opened it up.  He already has a laptop, so he gave me the iPad.  I'm uber lucky.  The stipulation of this is that since its connected to his work email, I will let him use it when he goes on trips so he can stay connected.  And also so he can read the Wall Street Journal on the airplane (which is apparently very hard otherwise, not that I would know).  I had never used one and thought they were sort of ghey.  IPad?  What kind of name is that?  It sounds like a high-tech feminine product, right?  And then I started playing with it.  I added the Netflix app.  I added the crosswords app.  I added the weather app and the dictionary app and the YouTube app and the solitaire app and the Betty Crocker app.  And then I realized something.

IPad is the greatest invention EVER!!!!  It's small, but not as tiny as a phone, so the text is readable.  I can put it in my purse.  I can whip it out wherever there's a wi-fi signal.  I can surf the net at the TAILGATE parties, for cripes sake!  Since apple has super duper awesome programmers, it's nearly impossible to get a virus.  I could connect to the wi-fi signal at a Turkish brothel and not get a virus.  I can surf the net IN BED!  IN A TREE!  IN A DINGHY! I can turn it on and I don't have to wait for it to power up.  It's ready to go instantly.  It holds battery life for HOURS!!!  I am in LOVE WITH THE iPAD!!!!  It's like a new friend.  I didn't realize how lonely I was until I got an iPad.  I don't feel lonely anymore when I'm at home or driving to work or taking a bath.  I have a buddy!  My buddy and I, we can go anywhere!  We can do ANYTHING!  I want to buy it accessories! I want to knit it a sweater! Everywhere me and iPad go, we can kick it.  I feel like wherever we go, people are throwing confetti at us and cheering.

I can surf recipes and then prop it up on its little kickstand and read from it while I cook!  I can play solitaire while I'm waiting for coffee to brew!  I can check my email while I'm waiting for my work computer to boot up so I can check my email!
Everyone should own an iPad.  They are super-fun fantastic time.  It's like a really really smart pet, only it doesn't crap or get fur on your blankets or puke hairballs on the carpet.  I should work for Apple.  They should pay me a thousand dollars just for posting this blog. I'm so pro-iPad, I should get paid by Apple to write slogans.  I even made some samples:

I'm in the wrong business.  So, give me a job, Steve Jobs.  That should be easy.  You should have lots of those.  Jobs is like your middle name.  Except its your last name.