How to Have "Fun" in Los Angeles

Are you considering a vacation?  A weekend getaway?  Why not take a few days and travel to

FABULOUS, SUNNY 

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA!!!!

I am confident you will thoroughly enjoy a weekend in L.A.  Why?  The bigger question is......why NOT????

I highly recommend booking your flight to L.A. on American Eagle, a subsidiary of American Airlines. They now have two flights from Boise to L.A. daily.  In addition to "low low pricing" on your tickets, you will experience a minor ass-raping of only $25 per bag checked and at least one screaming infant per flight- free of charge! Because really, why would the "low low price" of your plane tickets include a checked bag?  I mean, who takes BAGS on a vacation?  Who needs their STUFF on a weekend away?  You should probably go ahead and pay to check at least three bags because your belongings will totally not get stolen from your Los Angeles hotel room by a gang.  American Eagle offers "spacious", comfortable cabins and roomy seats.

After a "relaxing" flight to L.A., why not consider lodging with one of the finest airport hotels that California has to offer........

The Travelodge!!!

During my most recent stay in Los Angeles, I booked a very posh room in this facility and was most pleased.  We even paid the extra $15 for the beautiful "Balcony with Pool View"................

The vintage 1980s "southwestern" decor will make you feel right at home.  The proprietor of this fabulous hotel has taken special care to make sure that the huge gap under the "door" is small enough to keep out even the smallest cockroaches and the barrels of most guns.  

Wondering what else Los Angeles has to offer?  During your "fun-filled" stay in southern California, you'll experience........

"Thrilling" $150 cab rides!  

Exciting drive-by shootings!!

Fresh Air!

Clean Streets!

AND.........

I'm sure by now you've got an inexplicable yearning to travel to beautiful Los Angeles, California for a weekend away with your sweetheart.  Trust me- it's an incredible experience.  Nothing brings families together like fear and bed bugs.  

I'm pretty sure I've made my point-  Los Angeles is really really special and totally does not suck ass at all.

Asian to Engrish Translations are of Most Funny

Hi Everyone!

So, I'm totally not ignoring you and I'm not in jail and I haven't given up on blogging.  It's just that I'm not at home and where I'm staying doesn't have internet so I was literally cut off from my internet surfing cold turkey.  And no, I'm not in a third-world country.  I'm in Idaho Falls.  But I'm pretty sure you still need a passport to come here.  And actually, I think even some third world countries have internets because Heather sometimes emails me from Cambodia so there's really no excuse for this injustice.  

I have like a billion really awesome, spectacular, cartoon-heavy blogs in the works, but cartoons take a long time to draw when you're using paint and I'm pretty sure my mom's home PC uses floppy disks so things are a little slow here at The Party of Two. In lieu of blogging I've been driving children to dances and driving children to school and picking children up from friend's houses and helping children with homework and breaking up arguments between children and scolding the dog and making my mom tea.  

Oh, and I've fallen in love with a baby lamb which I'm pretty sure doesn't have a name so I'm calling him Argyle.  I will love Argyle forever or at least until he turns into a sheep, at which time his lack of intelligence and his deliciousness will begin to outweigh his cuteness. Even after I fall out of love with him, he'll probably still love me- which is sad but even sheep must learn that life is unfair.  Argyle runs from everyone else but he loves me and he follows me around and bats his long eyelashes at me and lets me grab his face and kiss his nose and I'm basically the Lamb Whisperer by now.

Anyways, to make a long story short, none of my cartoons are ready for publishing yet, so I'm throwing you a bone by sharing with you YET ANOTHER "Actual Conversations" blog post, which I've been saving for just such a moment as this.  It may not be on par with my usual side-splitting hilarity, but it's all I have right now.  Enjoy.  I'll let you know when I get back to Boise so you can take me out for a beer.  

______________________________________________________________

Here is an actual Messenger conversation that took place between Cody and I while I was bored on one of my last days of work-

Rae Says:  

Last week of work.......nothing to do.

I'm reduced to playing a fishing game on the internets.

Cody says:

Nice......lucky.

Rae says:

The directions are hilarious!

I love Chinese to Engrish mistransrations.

The instructions say "Take careful on this level, as fishes are more of timidness.  Also watch out for the most evil of crabs.  He will remove your line of fishing by his claws."

Cody says:

LOL

Rae says:

"We will keep track of all your achieves and score as you continue to playing"

Cody says:

Nice!

Hey, I'm starving already.  Anything in mind for dinner?

Rae says:

Ohhhhhh.....Tonight for you I cook most healthful of dinner for to eat.  So nice!

And if you like most pleasure, I can rub shoulders for you to partake of relaxing.

Cody says:

LOLOL!

You're hilarious

So, what are we having?

Rae says:

I am think for you I prepare most sweet of potato baked in oven.

Or perhaps you would care to partake of most spicy of turkey meat sauce with prepared noodoh?

Also in option for you is grilled chop of porkness with greens salad.

Cody says:

Whatever to make with most ease.

Rae says:

Made with most ease is pizza ordered from red hut.  But that option is not of most healthfulness.....

You like for me love you long time?

Cody says:

Oh jes... I want you love me long time.

Rae says:  

Ohhhhhhh jes.......I love you long time. 

You like for me yanky your wanky?  

[Cody has signed out of messenger]