Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Mark May is a Toss-Pot

September 25, 2010
A day that will live in infamy.  That and the whole Pearl Harbor bombing incident.  Actually, doesn't "infamy" mean famous, but for a bad thing?  So not infamy.  Super awesomeness, maybe......
ESPN College Game Day came to Boise.  Yes.
*I realize some of you may not know what College Game Day is.  But if you're at this blog, it must mean that we like you, so we forgive you for not knowing. But we're concerned about how uncool you are.
College Game Day is the only show you should be watching on Saturdays.  It is not on Lifetime.  It's a show broadcast live on ESPN from different college stadiums around the country.  The ESPN big wigs come and do a morning show to discuss the day's most important games and who will plummet to their death in the polls if they lose (usually BSU).  They only come to your stadium to broadcast if your team is worth watching.  And they came to Boise.  In short, this is a big deal.  Historically, it is the biggest thing to happen in Boise since north-enders discovered the Birkenstock.

Needless to say, because we realized the magnitude of this event, we  decided to go to the broadcast.  Since you're reading this blog, you no doubt realize what a decision this was for us.  College Game Day starts at 9am eastern time.  That's 7am our time.  Few things will haul our asses out of bed at death thirty in the morning on a Saturday.  Obviously this was one of them.  This is us.  At 8am.  On a Saturday.  And yes, that is the early morning sun kissing our angelic faces.  We don't even look tired!  Why?  Coffee + Bailey's = morning happiness.  I think we all agree that if it was socially acceptable, Cody and I should probably both put Baileys in our coffee every morning.  We'd probably get more work done.

So, we showed up for Game Day.  And so did 12,998 other people.  Yes, they estimate 13,000 came.  Basically, what you're looking at is 13,000 people getting out of bed to watch a TV show together.  One billion and a half cool points for us.  Some of them even camped overnight and waited in line at 4am for hours.  We are not quite so "in-tents".  We're like Fans Light.  But I didn't see you there.  So you must not be as hardcore as us.  Just saying.

My girlfriend Erin Andrews was there, too.  In case you didn't know, she's one of the ESPN personalities.  Cody would love for her to be his girlfriend.  Unfortunately he already has one.  But I do not.  He's welcome to get a boyfriend if he wants.  But he doesn't seem to want to.  Here is a picture of my girlfriend in case you were wondering what she looks like.  She might be coming to Christmas this year.

Anyways, it proved to be wicked fun.   Lee Corso even put on our mascot head instead of the Oregon State Beaver's.  Which is probably because Lee Corso does not love beavers.  But he IS a little less of a wiener because he picked us to win.  Kudos to all the genius fan-made signs.  Here are some of our faves:
  • "This tool brought to you by The Home Depot" [with picture of Mark May]
  • "Lee Corso loves Justin Bieber"
  • "Mark May reads Twilight" 
  • "Biebers score more than Beavers" [with picture of Justin Bieber]
*I'd have pictures of those, but Cody forgot to remind me to put new batteries in the camera.  Probably because I forgot to ask him to.

Later on, we went back to the stadium for TAILGATING!  Yay, tailgating!  Cody got us a super tailgate spot at the alumini center.  Same old, same old Cody, genius.  He's like Mother Teresa, only of football.  Since we've had the tailgate torch passed down to us, we wanted our tailgate party to be like shooting off fireworks with supermodels on cruise ships.  Floating in oceans of beer.  And it almost was.  We had food, beers, TV.......I would have taken lots of awesome pictures, but I was very distracted.  By what, you ask?   Our tailgate was super awesome fun-time.  What could distract you from super awesome fun-time, you wonder?  It was hot.  How hot?  Hot to quite hot, I'd say.  Cody swears that all September tailgates are hot.  I do not ever recall one of the last days of September ever being so unseasonably warm.  It was so hot in the cement, treeless  parking lot that the joy of tailgating and the Bronco pride began to get fuzzy.  Over-hot crankiness washed over everyone.  Deodorant stopped working.  Food began to re-cook.  I wore my tightest jeans that day, so I was like a sausage steaming in its own casing.  As standard operating procedure, I run at a constant 120 degrees to begin with.  Thanks for the awesome hot jeans genes, dad.  I started out the day looking like this:

By half time, I looked like this:

All pleasantries had gone by the wayside. I was hot and crabby.  It was like a warty, half- roasted toad was squatting inside me.  I knew I wasn't fun to be around.  I felt bad.  But you could have sauteed an onion on my forehead.  It was sweltering.  My bra was slicing me in half. Even my reflex blue toes were sweating.   Mercifully, our seats were on the west side of the stadium.  But the people on the east side of the stadium were doomed.  To illustrate this point, I give you the following photo, which will not only depict how hot it was, but also serve as an important astronomy lesson. 

Cody was even hot.  And he shivers during his Bikram Yoga classes.  We did win the game, which is a blessing because otherwise most people would have exited the stadium with a leap from the top row.  GO BRONCOS!  It wasn't a pretty win.  And not just because everyone in the stadium was sweating like a whore in church. There were penalties abound.   A few of our players were playing like some idiots from the projects.  But in the end, we pulled it out like always.  Here are some of the few tailgate pictures I managed to take:



 All in all, it was an epic day.  Here's hoping our next tailgate brings with it some fall-worthy weather.  Hope to see you there!  GO BIG BLUE!!!

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