Monday, December 20, 2010

Actual Conversations

This is a conversation between me and my mom.  We were discussing the fact that my sister, who is engaged and has a fiance now, will NOT be spending Christmas with us for the first Christmas ever.  There is NO possible way that I exaggerated this conversation at all.

Mom:  I'm really sad about Kenna not having anything good to eat for Christmas.  Maybe I should get them some groceries.  It's really bothering me that they will be all alone drinking bad, cheap beer and eating frozen chicken nuggets and blue box mac and cheese while we are feasting on all the best stuff.

Rae:  I say let them eat blue box mac.  It will be a good character builder.  Someday down the road when they're springing for Velveeta Shells and Cheese, they'll think fondly of the time before they were married when all they could afford was blue box.

Mom:  How is that supposed to make me feel any better?  Seriously, I have been losing sleep over this.

Rae:  Mom, the whole point the holiday season is to take pleasure in the misfortune of others.

Mom: ............?

Rae:  We'll send them a care package with some sandwich crusts and an orange peel.  And some pictures of you and I eating giant turkey legs.  And then next time, she'll know better than to spend the holiday with anyone but us.

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