Someone Should Probably Use a Cannon to Whang Me Into a Tree

When you were a kid, you probably couldn't wait to be a grown-up.  At least, you couldn't if you were anything like me.  I couldn't wait to do important grown up things like grocery shop or mail things or own a checkbook.  I impatiently rushed through childhood so that I could be an adult.  Now that I'm a grown-up (sort of), I rarely grocery shop, I hate mail AND mailing things, and I misplace my checkbook on a regular basis.  When I find it, I usually have to brush the dust off of it to write a check.  And then hope like hell that it doesn't bounce when I finally remember to mail it.
Why am I telling you this?  I forgot......
Oh yeah. I'm trying to explain to you why I should be kicked out of being a grown-up.   "But Rae," you're probably saying, "you graduated college!  You have a degree and a professional license and your own office!  You're not even behind on your bills!  Your house is clean!  Surely you're a responsible person!"  Nope.  You're wrong.  In fact, not only should my adult card be revoked, they should probably repo my degree too.  So, for your amusement (ok, mostly MY amusement, but hopefully yours too), I have compiled a list of reasons I should be kicked out of being a grown-up:

• Without realizing it, I've been driving around with an expired car registration.  Since September.
• I hit the snooze button approximately 82 times per morning.
• Given the choice, I would rather watch cartoons.
• I'm at LEAST 9 minutes late for literally every single thing I'm doing.
• Sometimes, when someone I don't like is walking away from me, I make faces at them.
• At any given moment, I am desperately restraining the urge to throw something (a pen, my coffee, a hamburger, my shoe, a rock, the cat) at something else (the wall, the ground, a car, another person, the cat).  I like to imagine the sound it would make or the reactions that would follow if I threw something at something else.  Sometimes it's out of annoyance or anger, but mostly its just because of the sheer satisfaction and amusement I would get from throwing things at things. 
• My desperate attempts to be responsible and do things in a timely fashion are usually thwarted by TV or napping or drawing cartoons on the computer.
• I refuse to put the clean clothes away until they're cold and wrinkly and have been sitting in a pile on the closet floor for at least four days.
• I get tired of wearing pants.
• Sometimes when I try to check my email, I end up watching videos of people falling down instead.
• Showering is a really big pain in the ass.
• If I had my way, I would go barefoot everywhere.
• Sometimes I don't hear what people are saying to me because I'm thinking about cupcakes.
• I'm incapable of saving a single dime.  The last $30 in my bank account is reserved for buying gigantic rings or Wendy's chili or Johnny Depp DVDs.
• I have no idea what a mutual fund is.
• I can't do math without a calculator.
• I absolutely never have change for the meter.
• I blog instead of doing work.

Feel free to use the comments section to add additional items to the list.  I won't be offended.  You're only making my case stronger.