Crap We've Been Doing Instead of Blogging: Holiday Edition *UPDATED!*

*This blog post has been edited for your viewing pleasure to reflect more accurate geographical notations.  Please see this post for explanation of changes.


*I just want you all to know that the very blog post you are reading right now has literally been the bane of my existence.  I have had more trouble trying to bring this post into existence than you can possibly imagine.  A little nugget of wisdom for you:  SAVE your work on your computer.  Often.  Computers are a natural enemy of humans and they will attack you and your work like the puny, weakling prey that you are.  They are powered, not by electricity as we once supposed, but by the sheer energy of our fury and frustration.  The irony is that this post was actually already posted.  It was up.  It was fricking ON THERE.  I took it down to add another solid gold chunk of hilarity, hit the "uh-oh" key, and the whole thing was blank.  I still have no clue what I pressed.  It was a typo gone askew.  I tried the good old "ctrl-z" to undo, but it didn't work.  Then, in the kind of slow-motion horror that so often accompanies computer errors, I realized something sickening- Blogger automatically saves for you every thirty seconds.  I raced the mouse to the top of the page to click away without saving, but alas........it saved my blankness.  So really, saving is useless.  Your program will just delete your work and then save its own deletion FOR YOU.  We should probably just throw away all computers and go back to using smoke signals and rubbing sticks together.
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My friend Erin emailed me and said "Uh....New Year, new blog post please."  I know its been some time.  I wanted to let you all know what we did over the holidays, but instead of telling you, I made cartoons because they're usually better than whatever I have to say.

So, here is what our holiday season looked like:

Cody gambled, drank beer, watched college football, and skiied.  I cooked, drank beer, drank wine, drove a lot, and moved out of my little apartment and into Cody's place.  Hilarious co-habitation-related posts are inevitable because they make great blog fodder.  All joking aside, though, we both had a great holiday season.  He went to the Las Vegas bowl and watched our beloved Broncos CRUSH Utah.  I went to my family's ranch.  It was blissfully devoid of the usual family drama we've all grown so accustomed to.  Me and my clan had a really nice Christmas.  It was a tad stressful, but again- that was less to blame on the holidays and more to blame on my moving the week after Christmas.  I don't recommend it.  Actually, I don't recommend moving anywhere.  Ever.  Just brick yourselves into your domiciles and stay there.  For good.

*FYI:  I suspect that Cody sometimes feels like I portray him as a giant butthole in my blog posts.  For your own edification, Cody was a super duper boyfriend and helped me move DURING a college bowl game.  Furthermore, he made it possible for me to NOT have to ask my dad for help.  I really didn't want to ask my dad because he has literally moved me in and out of six or seven different apartments and he said if he had to move my entertainment center one more time, he would stab me in the kidney with a narwhal horn dipped in ebola.  So my dad probably owes Cody a beer.  You're welcome, Dad.  And thanks, Code.

Cody and I did reach a decision.  As we discussed our combined weight gain, substantial gift debt, and general malaise over a glass of New Years champagne, we decided to do Christmas a little differently next year.  Now, we love every one of you wacky bastards.  But we're not going to be here for Christmas next year.  We will be having Christmas here:

You may be asking where, exactly, is this?  Well, I've taken a stab at cartography to illustrate our exact location for you:

*Updated Map*

 *It was actually Hawaii before.  Now, it's Bora Bora!

I'm sure you're all wondering why we're going to Bora Bora.  In order to best explain it, I have created some additional maps to help clear up your confusion:

 This is a map of climate differences

 

This is a map of cultural differences

I hope this clears up any confusion as to next year's Christmas plans.*

*If YOU were going to Bora Bora for Christmas and WE weren't, we would be very happy for you.  But we ARE going and we don't want to run into anyone we know.  So get your own Christmas island.