I copied this straight from the instant message conversation we had and pasted it here so that you get the full impact of exactly what was said.
Before you begin reading it, though, I must give some important background by defining a few things for you.
"The Kaspersky Anti-Virus Debacle": Kaspersky is the anti-virus software that was installed on Cody's laptop by Best Buy when he bought it. It is supposedly guaranteed to launch a face-melting nuclear assault on all the zombie viruses that are attacking your puny weakling laptop. IF you keep it current. Cody's Kaspersky expired a month or two ago and he hasn't renewed it. It bleeps out this horrifying, stroke inducing warning alert every few minutes while you're using the computer and an annoying bubble pops up to remind you that if you don't renew soon, a ninja will stab you to death in your sleep. According to him, to renew will require everything but a barefoot treacherous climb to the top of Mordor to throw your laptop into the fiery pit. He very bombastically claims that it will take a whole day of being on the phone and creating accounts and driving to Best Buy and signing a billion dollar agreement in blood. I tried to tell him that if he'll just take it over to Best Buy and drop it off with the Geek Squad, they'll fix it all up and call him when its ready. But apparently even with that option, he still needs to take a whole vacation day during the week to do it because it will still take hours and hours and he refuses to waste a whole weekend day when he could be watching football or fishing. I've been trying to tell him it can't possibly be that big a deal, but we've been going back and forth about it for several weeks now.
"The Great Groupon Debacle": I recently signed up for Groupon. If you don't know, Groupon is a website that emails you a daily discount deal from a local store or shop or vendor. They usually give you such a good deal that you cannot possibly NOT buy the daily Groupon because it's typically like a billion percent discount. I keep hoping that I'll open my email one morning to find a Groupon for a $5 whole-body plastic surgery deal or free lasik eye surgery with the purchase of a 22 oz mocha. At any rate, I recently bought 4 fandango movie tickets for $20. If you've been to Edwards lately, you know that you're not getting out of there for less than the price of your sedan, so this was a good deal and I couldn't NOT buy it (which is exactly what the Groupon wants). After buying the Groupon, I was given a Groupon redemption code that I then had to take to the "My Weekly Cinema" website and enter, which in turn would give me the Fandango codes for the tickets, which could be taken to the Fandango site to pick your movie and get the theater code, which I would then enter at the ticket kiosk at the theater. This could not possibly fail. I was supremely confident that this hoop jumping was worth it, because I got cheap movie tickets and YOU didn't [neener neener]......It was fool proof. Plus, I had my old pal iPad on my side and I could do this stuff ANYWHERE!! I redeemed two of the tickets one evening whilst we ate at TGIFridays so that we could go to the movie right after. I was smug. "See?" I said. "Technology CAN be your friend." "Look at ME" I said. "I just reserved movie tickets while we ate dinner". I was euphoric.
Until we got to Edwards and then....well, BOOM goes the dynamite. When we got there, there was no wi-fi to retrieve my confirmation codes and the theater employees couldn't find my purchase in their system because I didn't use the Fandango site, I used the Groupon site. I went to the arcade to poach their wi-fi, but the iPad had a rare and massive brain fart and wouldn't connect to it. We ran to the Moxie Java to use theirs, but they needed a guest password and we hadn't bought anything and the wi-fi was for customers only. Cody kept saying we should just say "screw it" and go buy some tickets, but by this time, I was having a mini-nervous breakdown. We finally solved the problem using Cody's cell phone internet, which of course was working like gangbusters. I was just sure that somewhere deep down inside, he was smiling smugly that technology had once again taken a gigantic dump on me. I was NOT giving him the satisfaction of winning (and by winning, I mean me admitting that technology is a giant fail and him "saving the day" and paying for tickets). And I was totally demoralized that my Groupon AND my iPad, my precious, had both failed me. I felt like Satan had unleashed his evil mastiff on me and it was taking a hot steaming leak on my leg. I was choking back a fury like hell hath no. I was afraid that any minute, I'd melt into a big pile of anger and tears and disappointment and shame. And when the problem was solved, I felt totally stupid. I felt like a four-year old kid who needed a time-out.
Now that you know all that, you can read the conversation below:
Rae says:
Hey babe! How's your afternoon going?
Cody says:
Meh... OK... I've got the afternoon drowsies. You?
Rae says:
Me too.....You should go check the latest blog post. For real.
Cody says:
OK... I will when I get a few minutes...
[Five minutes elapse]
Your blog was same old, same old, Rae Summers- Genius.
I really liked it! Great humor!
Rae says:
If you say so......
Cody says:
I would comment, but I don't remember how...
I have to sign in or something, right?
Rae says:
It's not that hard. You just hit "comment" at the bottom of it.
Cody says:
Yeah... but then it asks to select "profile"...
Wtf is that?
Rae says:
Where it says "0 comments" or "1 comment"
You just click there and then use your Google profile to comment
Cody says:
Yeah... I don't remember my userid or password...
Rae says:
I say just forget about it then
Cody says:
Yeah, it should be easy... I only have 356 different userids and passwords...
I should have written it down...
Rae says:
Whatevs babe
I say just forget it
I dunno why you don't make all your userids and passwords the same
so you can remember them.
Cody says:
I think I figured it out...
and I wrote it down
I added it to my binder of userids and passwords
Rae says:
Well you didn't need to take a big chunk of time out of your day to comment
but thanks for the comment.
Cody says:
yeah... that's okay... it only took 20 minutes or so to figure it all out
Rae says:
[sigh]
Cody says:
I'm setting tomorrow aside to figure out my kaspersky anti-virus stuff...
may take the day off work
Rae says:
you should NOT do that and take THURSDAY off instead. I don't work.
That way, with our powers combined, we can do it in half a day
and use the other half for fishing.
Cody says:
I'm only taking the afternoon off for fishing Thursday...
Rae says:
but didn't you just say you were taking a whole day off for Kaspersky renewal stuff?
You'll take a whole day for that and only half for fishing?
Cody says:
actually I might just bring my computer into work tomorrow...
that way I can spend the whole day calling, downloading, etc, etc.
Rae says:
[sigh]
I like that you're a techno-pessimist, but a real-life optimist.
Cody says:
yeah... I can't wait for your next Groupon debacle... I'll try not to laugh...
Rae says:
Eff you
I'm the opposite of Kip. I hate technology... always and forever.
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